Life's "Irregular" People

Let’s face it. We want people in our lives who are normal, sweet, and loving, not ones who are difficult, disruptive, and mean. “Regular” people would make our lives pleasant and uncomplicated, but that is not reality.

In her book Irregular People, Joyce Landorf Heatherly explained that she found inspiration for her thesis from a film adaptation of Bette Green’s novel Summer of My German Soldier. The story centered on Greene’s personal experience during World War Two when German soldiers were interned in a POW camp in Arkansas. In the story, Patty, a twelve-year-old Jewish girl, befriended a German escapee and hid him in her father’s barn. As she cared for him, their love blossomed.

Once the FBI closed in, the young

soldier was killed while wearing

Patty’s father’s monogramed shirt.

That bloody, bullet-ridden garment

revealed that the girl had helped the

escapee. Her abusive father, incensed

by her actions, treated his daughter maliciously. When Patty sought refuge from Ruth, her family’s much-loved maid, the black woman reminded Patty

that despite her father’s cruel words, she was a “Creature of God and a thing that matters in this world.”[1]

Ruth called Patty’s father “irregular,” a term that inspired Heatherly’s book: “For a while I couldn’t decide whether he [the father] was a hero or a villain, and since that is so true of people in real life, I found the character portrait simply fascinating.”[2] According to Heatherly, those “irregular” people in our lives are usually relatives. Friends and acquaintances come and go, but family ties bind us permanently in relationships both wonderful or painful. As God meant them to be, these relationships should be ties that bind for life.

Finding Your Roots

Indeed, family ties are so strong that many search for their roots, their “people,” using DNA advances. Our daughter, for instance, became interested in our family ancestries and encouraged her dad and me in this pursuit. DNA tests revealed that I have 70 percent Irish blood running through my veins. This discovery prompted a delightful trip to Ireland where my daughter and I explored the terrain of our ancestors. The Irish have a great love of music, which caused my musically gifted daughter to exclaim, “I feel like I’ve discovered my people!” The ancient feel of the country and the friendliness of the populace drew us both in immediately.

Irish Memories

Speaking of the Irish, my husband and I enjoy the television series Blue Bloods, which features an Irish Catholic family who all work in areas of law enforcement in New York City. Each Sunday after church, they gather for a meal accompanied by teasing and merriment. Sometimes, however, the scenes feature intense disagreements about situations in the precinct, or accusations of unfairness in the handling of cases.

In one particular scene, when a heated exchange provoked finger pointing and vociferous allegations, the father character shook his head and remarked, “Ah, Irish memories. You can do 99 good things for some people. And the only thing they’ll remember is the one thing you didn’t do.” That statement prompted my search for similar Irish sayings, such as these:

· Do some things right, no one remembers,

Do some things wrong, no one forgets.

· People always remember your mistakes,

But no one remembers the good things you’ve done for them.

Sadly, no matter how hard we try, no matter how much we sacrifice, it’s never enough for some people. Instead of remembering and thanking us for our efforts and sacrifices, they point out our faults and failures. Is it possible to bless those who seem ungrateful? Can we reject discouragement and keep serving even when all our labors of love seem in vain?

The One who Never Forgets

Thankfully, there is One who never forgets our labors of love, our intentions to bless. Our Heavenly Father will reward our efforts: “For God is not unjust to forget your work and labor of love which you have shown toward His name, in that you have ministered to the saints, and do minister” (Hebrews 6:10). How thankful we can be for such assurance and words of encouragement. Even if we don’t experience appreciation now for our efforts, our Lord will someday reward us for our faithfulness to Him and the love we have shown to others.

The challenge for us, however, is to continue our walk with Him, studying and obeying His Word, no matter how we are treated. Jesus provides the best model of this mandate: “’But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.’”[3] Author Dave Keesling wrote, “Because He lived, I am able to die—die to sin, die to offense.”[4] Such responses can only be accomplished through prayer and the power of His Spirit, wielding the sword of the Word as we daily seek to please Him rather than ourselves.

Then, in times when we must confront sin or hurtful disagreements, we must do so in a spirit of gentleness as we try to understand the problems and difficulties others have endured (Galatians 6:1). Proverbs 25: 15b says, "A gentle tongue breaks a bone." John Newton, a man saved from the slave trade, wrote, “What will it profit a man if he gains his cause, and silences his adversary, if at the same time he loses the humble, tender frame of spirit in which the Lord delights?”[5]

As Joyce Landorf Heatherly reminds us, you must “keep forgiveness and reconciliation active in your life”[6] so you don’t become the “irregular” person in someone else’s life. We are to offer God’s amazing grace to those “irregular” people around us, the grace we so desperately need ourselves.

[1] Ibid. 23,24 [2] Joyce Landorf Heatherly, Irregular People, (Balcony Publishing, Austin, TX 1982), 18, 19 [3] Matthew 5:44-45 [4] Dave Keesling, My Hiding Place, blog, October 9, 2023 https://www.lifeinrealtimeonline.com/2023/10/my-hiding-place-15 [5] John Newton, “Letter 19, ‘On Controversy,’” in The Works of John Newton, ed. Richard Cecil, 3rd ed. (Edinburgh: Banner of Truth, 1985; first published in London: Hamilton, Adams, and Co., 1824). This thought was written by John Newton to a friend. Newton was saved out of the slave trade in the mid 1700s. He is best known for his beloved hymn “Amazing Grace.” [6] Joyce Landorf Heatherly, Irregular People, (Balcony Publishing, Austin, TX 1982), back cover